Why Can't I Just Go to Church on the Internet (Part 2 of a series)

Sometimes I feel like a mosquito flying into Niagara Falls.

Life slaps me around, disjointing my relationships, goals, and hopes.

I often experience spiritual disorientation.

Are you like me?  Do you turn to the internet to re-connect to community?

The endless connections, created by the internet, brighten our disconnected lives.

But is there a dark side to convenient, cyber-space connectivity, which may diminish your experience of deep church? 

You can read about the first possible dark side here: Part 1

A second dark downside, of going to church primarily on the internet, relates to Jesus.

Jesus is God in the flesh.  He is God with skin and sense receptors.  He is the face and touch of the living God.  He is the God with scars.

Two short stories about Jesus challenge the internet church movement in our culture.

The first story about this “God-in-the-flesh” Jesus is told by his biographer Mark.

Mark writes this about Jesus:  “And he went up on a mountain and called to him those whom he desired, and they came to him.” (Mark 3:13ff)

Did you feel the “physicality” in the phrase “they came to him”?

To him.  To him.  

There was a directionality and physical locality involved with connecting to Jesus.

Distance dissolves when Jesus desires you to become his disciple.

Now I know what some of you are concluding.  You think that internet church (watching a pastor preach a sermon, a praise band singing to God, or reading spiritual blogs from Christian teachers, etc.) decreases distance from the truth about God and enhances connectivity.

Yes….and no.

You are instantly connected to truth but you are not yet connected to touch.

Let’s keep reading. 

Mark continues “And he appointed twelve…..so that they might be with him.”

Did you catch the word “with”?

Why did Jesus desire, and then choose a group of friends?

So that they might be WITH him.

Jesus, the en-fleshed God, desired physical, personal proximity.

Notice that he didn’t primarily send an email to a bunch of guys with a download of his latest sermon or blog.

Notice that he didn’t send them a book full of cool facts with smarty-farty religious words and millions of moral rules.

Jesus desired his friends to be WITH him.

I know what you’re thinking….

Getting together WITH people at church can be scary, frustrating, and fearful.

I know.  Church people (I am one of them) are sinful, hurtful and downright “ugly” (as we say in the South) at times.

But deep church people have all been desired by Jesus and he desires that we all gather together to be WITH him.

Deep church people, spending time together, are being changed by His grace even though we are simultaneously saints and sinners.

Back in the ancient Garden of Eden, after we turned and stopped trusting God, we ran and hid and lived in fear.

We did not want to be WITH God or others.

But God would not put up with our isolation, shame and hiddenness.

He came near personally and called Adam and Eve to be with him.

What if the church was the one place on the planet, where you could finally stop evading God?

What if the internet, for some, is actually a place of evasion and hiding in a hurtful world?

Deep church is full of followers of Jesus, with flesh and blood that have the guts to come out of hiding.

Warm arms open to embrace singles, children, widows, widowers, the rich, the poor, impatient pastors, the untouchables and unwantables.

Mark tells this second story of Jesus touching an unwantable.

Mark 1:40-41  40 And a leper came to him, imploring him, and kneeling said to him, "If you will, you can make me clean."  41 Moved with pity, he stretched out his hand and touched him and said to him, "I will; be clean."

Yes, internet spirituality is a good way to connect.

But what if we can’t really escape our essential hunger for deep, enfleshed community?

What if going to an actual church with actual people shapes us to become more human?

You can be truly known in all of your ruin and glory…and deeply wanted.

You can enter the embrace of two real arms from a friend and squeeze them back with a mutual grip of grace.

You know, I might download a sermon this week to learn something cool.

But I can’t wait to go to church and experience my full humanity—a clothed-with-flesh soul, cleansed forever.

Will you join me?

Pastor Howard
Senior Pastor
Metro North Church

Why Can't I Just Go to the Church on the Internet (Part 1 of a series)

The internet has been called “the ultimate connection machine.”

The intricate web catalyzes our connectivity to people and information in ways we never dreamed possible.

But is there a down-side, especially as it relates to experiencing deep church?

Let’s not start off too cranky and critical.

Two potential benefits to “going to church” on the internet, pop immediately to mind.

First, members of our church family get sick.  Others travel in our highly mobile society.

The convenience and availability of an internet sermon or blog post can be an avenue of grace to these folks.  

Second, we live in a post-Christian culture, where less and less people join churches.

Going to church isn’t part of their cultural cadence.  

They see the church as irrelevant with no real “value add” to their life.

And didn’t Jesus say to “Go out into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature?”  

“Every” includes even those that consider deep church a waste of time and effort.

By placing a sermon on the internet, an unchurched, skeptical “outsider” to grace can be reached.

They can experience a connection to the story of Jesus and have a “free taste” of the gospel.

So you might say that the internet is not “evil” in and of itself.

In fact, it potentially benefits many.

But is there a dark downside?

Let’s mention one in this blog post and I’ll mention more in future posts.

The first dark downside to primarily going to church on the internet, relates to Gnosticism.

I just threw a strange word at you…and believe me, Gnosticism, a religion that sprung up in the first few centuries of the church, has some strange ideas.

For one, a Gnostic didn’t think matter mattered.

The gnostic religion (gnosis is a word we would translate as “knowledge”) loved knowing things like ideas and concepts, but they despised the physical world.

Things like bodies, dirt, and wiping the runny nose of a toddler made them feel yucky all over.

They taught “dualism” which, just like it sounds, broke the world into a duo of yucky physical things and yummy spiritual things.

Their end game was getting as many downloads of secret knowledge as you could, while at the same time, staying away from bad physical things.

Let’s get back to our discussion about going to church on the internet.

When we listen to a sermon, we are getting a download of data.

But what are we missing?

We are missing a three-dimensional experience with a flesh and blood pastor.

If you got close enough to him on a Sunday, you might even smell the scent of his aftershave or get a whiff of his bad breath.

You would be reminded that he’s a normal human, just like you, and you might even experience the grace of a trusting connection.

Christians have always believed that “matter matters.”

God reached into the mud and made man to be a mirror of his beauty.

God, in Jesus, became flesh and lived with us.

We call this the incarnation or the enfleshing of God.

Gnosticism taught de-incarnation.  They were not a fan of things like driving to church, hugging people, and connecting “face to face.” 

Jesus, the embodied God, will never take off his physicality and transcend into a cyberspace download.

One day, you and I will touch his scars, see his smile and feel the touch of his hand as he wipes away our tears.

He understands our own scars, those embedded experiences of pressure and pain, better than anyone.  And his gathered church is called his body.

I eagerly await the gathering of our church family in worship and fellowship.

In fact, I believe we are most fully human when we move out of isolation and into deep community.

See ya at church,
Pastor Howard
Senior Pastor
Metro North Church

Triple-A Parenting in a Zig Zag World

Have you ever locked your keys in your car?  

Worse….

Have you ever locked your keys in your car, while it was running?

A friend of mine did this the other day due to a distraction.

I was with him and totally surprised at his calm reaction-- (I would have had a freak-out tantrum filled with a few external screams, and internal “How could you be such a dork?” moments.)

He looked at me and said something like “No Biggie, I’ll just call AAA.”

What if there was a AAA for all of us imperfect parents?

Do you ever feel like you’re treading water as a parent?

You can’t stop swimming, because parenting never came with an “off button.”

You sneak a peek at other “freestyle” parents, and they appear to be swimming in their lane effortlessly while you zig-zag, here and there, trying to keep up with your kid.

You feel exhausted, undervalued, and heavy with a dose of guilt….every day.

You backstroke, for your life, to an edge of the pool…But you just never seem to be able to reach it.

You sense you are sinking, and wonder if you could get just a little support.

You’re not alone.

Picture me swimming over to you (yes, I’m wearing a pink floatie, proudly on each arm) with a blue inner-tube.

You notice that the large, red letters AAA are printed on the outside of this blue, buoying, floating doughnut as you climb aboard.

Imagine you and me simply talking about three A’s of parenting “the Jesus way,” as you rest and catch your breath.

Why do I bring Jesus into parenting?

Because he had an experience with his Father that you don’t want to miss.

Matthew, a follower of Jesus, records these words, God the Father spoke to Jesus His son:  “This is my beloved son, with whom I am well pleased.” (Matthew 3:17)

Did you notice the first A of parenting the Jesus way?

Approval.

Approval is all about sending a favorable message to your child, which spills out of your soul and into their thirsty heart.

The Father said, “Jesus, my son…you please me.”

Dads and moms.  I know you’re frazzled and frayed.

But here’s a challenge.

Why not end each evening whispering the words, “You delight me!” to your child.

Maybe it is right after you blow them a kiss at the cracked door of their room.

I guarantee you that as you walk away, that whisper of warm approval will wisp through their room, land on their heart, and alter them forever.

Did you catch the second A of AAA parenting?

God the Father gave Jesus affection.

Affection is a positive feeling a parent radiates toward their child.

It is the “I really like you” kind of emotion, which sends signals of security to your kids.

Here are a few ways I shower affection on my kids.

(They are descriptive, not prescriptive.  Try them on and see if they fit.)

I give my teenage boys back-rubs and then put them in head-locks.

I kiss my girls on their cheeks (O.K.  Truth be told, sometimes I blow on their cheek to make a farting noise…I want to ready them for marrying a man who will make all kinds of strange noises).

I text the kids with things like “I just thought of you and got a warm fuzzy….dad.”

Your children need to actually feel your warm-heartedness aimed in their direction.

What?  You’re not the affectionate type?  Yes you are!  You just need to playfully practice this more and more.  Give it time.

The final A of AAA parenting is affirmation.

Affirmation is actually a legal concept.  

Affirmation is when a higher court (in this case, you the parent) judges that a lower court is correct (the actions and identity of your child) and should stand.

To simplify, your child needs you to point out their internal value and beautiful behavior.

God the Father was excited that Jesus His son was about to live a beautiful life for others: teaching, healing and ultimately dying for lost orphans needing a family.

Dads, you can hold your little girls, give them a tickle and as you look them in their smiling faces say “You are MY little girl and worth more than a hundred-gazillion chocolate chip cookies to me!”

Moms, you can walk up to your teenage son, gently cup his pimply, oily cheeks in your hands and say “I’m proud of you for mowing the lawn.  Your hard work really helps your father and proves to me that you are gonna be a great husband and dad someday yourself!”

Your boy will never forget that moment mom.

Ok.  Sorry.

It’s time to get off your duff and re-enter the choppy waters of parenting.

But wait.

Take this AAA inner-tube of support and get back on whenever you need to.

It’s free of charge.

And when you get a chance, take the time to read the fine print on the top of the tube which reads:

“Mom…dad…This is Jesus.  I approve of you, have warm affection toward you and affirm you.  Look at me on the cross where I bled out my heart for you, sending you the message that I would rather die for you than keep on living without you.  I loved you more than my own life and delight in you with such pleasure!”

Warmly,
Pastor Howard
Senior Pastor
Metro North Church

Four Emotional Ways to Connect to Those That are Disconnected From God (Part 2 of 2)

Four Emotional Ways to Connect to Those that Are Disconnected From God

Ever notice that great, action-packed movies seem to always have a key character tumble into a terrifying fall?

Maybe the main character is a woman running from a bad guy on the edge of a skyscraper’s rooftop.

Her high heel breaks, we watch her ankle wobble……. She slips….. and……. falls.

As she is plummeting to the earth in the grip of gravity’s merciless hold- we gasp and hope for rescue.

We don’t want her separated from life; her friends, family, purpose and place in her story.

If you are a Christian you walk with Jesus and experience the nearness of God.

Jesus is the inside of God.

Jesus is the intimacy of God.

Jesus is the God who came near to connect with you personally.

Jesus is the redemptive embrace of God.

The redemptive embrace of God is to be shared to de-shatter the dark distances so near to us.

All followers connected into Jesus have a missionary mentality.

Everyone that is not “into Jesus” is still separated from God.

Why?

In the beginning of time our first parents turned from God and selfishly took forbidden fruit.

The irony is that this tight-fisted taking and connection with a piece of creation, instead of their Creator, caused disconnection and death.

The theologians call this the original “Fall.”

Jesus parachuted into our predicament, took our penalty for offending God and connected us by grace back into intimate friendship with God for eternity.

Those of us that trust this are reconnected with God forever.

And it is so good and rich and wonderful that we just can’t keep this eternal embrace to ourselves!

We get concerned about the real disconnect outsiders of the kingdom have with Jesus.

What are four ways we can connect to others that are disconnected to God?

First, identify with their frightening fall.

What are they going through right now that displays the disconnection that they have with God, others, creation and their own soul?

A falling person is often grasping at anything to give them a sense of connection.

Are they addicted to something?

A substance or routine or relationship can often give a temporary sense of connection and distract our friends from the reality of their fallen condition.

Share a story in your own life about a current sin where you struggle to trust God for everything.

Don’t just spill the beans about your sin.  Turn the conversation to Christ and how he pardons and forgives and reconnects you to sanity again.

Second, identify with their hopes and dreams.

I love to ask people “What is something you are REALLY looking forward to in the next three months?”

When you are experiencing the accepting nearness and embrace of Jesus, you can actually get interested in the hopes and dreams of others.

People feel loved when you repel into their hearts with a curious question about their dreams.

Listen to what they look forward to.

Do they mention a trip to a far-away place?  A time of upcoming intimacy with family, like a family reunion? 

After they reveal a dream, go ahead and share a dream that you have.  

We were made for eternity and we love to look into the distant future at good things that we hope will come true.

When the time is right, share your hopes of a new heaven and new earth where all that is wrong will be put right again by a God who cares.

Third, identify with their anger.

Did this surprise you?

Our anger unsheathes our deepest loves.

I often like to connect with youth by asking them what really ticks them off about their world.

When they rant and scream, I learn about what they love deeply.

After you understand a person’s deepest loves, you can reveal Christ, your deepest love.

You can share about His anger at the world that He refused to ignore, but instead came to save.

Fourth, identify with their “basement” joys.

What do I mean by basement joys?

The basement is down in the depths of a home. 

Don’t identify with the froth and fizz and trivial happy moments in their life.

That is a good place to begin, but try to connect with the things that bring them deep pleasure.

After you hear their joys, share a way Jesus brings you joy.

You might mention prayer and the intimacy it arouses with the living God.

Why have a missionary mentality where you are trying to connect the disconnected to God?

Because our friends are surrounded by technology offering two-dimensional screens to connect them with their world.

They touch the glass, look at the glass and yearn for a hammer to break the glass so that true connection can happen.

How about trying to identify with a friend today in a “three-dimensional way” as you sit with them face to face and connect with their falls, dreams, angers and joys?

They might just get a taste of the nearness of God through you.

And just like in a great action movie, the falling woman will be caught by a hand that connects and rescues.

How about reaching out that hand in the direction of a disconnected friend?

Howard Cole
Senior Pastor
Metro North Church